Prayer for 2009

Show me the way, Lord.

I am always your student.

I am always in love with you.

I will change myself to follow the deep promptings

you have planted in my heart.

Show me not the answer,

show me the right questions 

to ask.  Show me what is right

and I will do it.

I will fail often.

If I ask for something that does not help me

lead me to that which helps me.

Show me how to love, Lord.

Many things pose as love 

that are not love.

Shoe me how to live my life.

I walk in a trance,

I move without being awake

I act without a plan.

My head is fuzzy; my limbs do not respond well.

My walk is tilted.

I don't know when I'm hungry.

I eat when my stomach hurts.

I breathe air that I have spoiled.

My spirit seems clogged.  Though I want to fly

I have no wings.

Help me to listen

to know your voice

when I hear it.

A thousand teachings flood my senses

until I am falling over the ropes of words

of those who claim to be wise.

Cloudy mysticism is everywhere:

"We are all one, God is in all of us,

listen to the silence within you,"

so many messages that do not bear

on my experience of reality.

I only know what my day presents,

nothing more.  I can feel my fellow humans,

their fears and their dreams.

I would serve and be served by them

if I had something real to give.

Show me what is real, Lord.

Show me a work that is generous and clean.

Show me how to use my gifts,

for you have given me so many, 

yet I squander them

and am left with a greed

that controls me.

Show me what is possible, Lord.

I want to believe that anything is possible.

I need to have faith in Faith.

My senses tell me

that nothing is fixed, that the earthly world

swirls like a fluid dream.  I want to know

what is true, Lord.

If nothing is fixed, than nothing is impossible.

Shoe me how to master it, Lord.

I long to master life, I long to master

awareness itself.

Show me my own mind, Lord.

I don't know who else to ask, but you.

Show me how to wear myself

in the best light. Shoe me grace, Lord, show me

all the things I have forgotten, all the things I knew

as a child,

before I lost my courage,

before I cared if I won or lost. 

or tied or died or lived well

or lost myself in dark valleys,

before I learned to walk,

before I learned to talk,

before I learned to think.

Show me everything, Lord,

show me all that I need

and all that I can handle

to create me as your heart's desire.

Show me how to make your heart's desire

my heart's desire,

that I may walk alongside you

secure in the knowing of you

as my friend and mentor.

Show me, Lord, show me.

I weep with desire, show me

reveal it to me though it be too bright,

reveal it to me in the bits you deem right,

any way you want to bring me into your heart,

Lord, just show me.